Murder in the Family: Intimate Partner Homicide in Elderly

In 1985, 75-year-old Roswell Gilbert killed his 73-year-old wife, Emily, in their Lauderdale-by-the-Sea, Fla., condominium. The retired engineer shot her once, reloaded, and then fired again.

At the time of the killing, the couple had been married 51 years, and Emily had been suffering from Alzheimer’s disease and osteoporosis for the past decade. After the shooting, Roswell pinned up a note that read, “I couldn’t stand to see my lovely lady suffer.” He had taken Emily to the hospital the weekend prior to treat her painful and debilitating bone disease, but she wasn’t cooperative with the doctors and refused to disrobe for X-rays. A neighbor had heard her say that she wanted to end it all because of her pain.

Family and friends portrayed Roswell as a “private, selfless person who was completely devoted to his wife—so much so that, in the end, he gave her the gift of euthanasia she wanted.” One neighbor stated, “I have never seen a husband so devoted to his wife, and I saw them three times a day.” Roswell ’s daughter said, “Daddy catered to Mother’s whims all the years they were married.” Yet prosecutors chose to pursue premeditated murder charges, arguing that Roswell had wanted to rid himself of the burden of caring for his wife.

At trial, he maintained that “shooting his wife was the most merciful way to deal with her anguish and the only option open to him then.” He was convicted and sentenced to life in prison, serving five years before receiving clemency.

The Gilbert case displays elements common to many intimate partner homicides among the elderly. Such killings are highly gendered; perpetrators are overwhelmingly male while victims are overwhelmingly female. The husband decides that the wife (and sometimes he himself) would be better off dead and enacts that plan.

Elderly husbands who kill their wives can be divided into three categories, although perpetrators may display characteristics across these groups as well. In one group, the so-called “mercy killings,” the husband ends the life of his wife to end her suffering and preserve her dignity. Much rarer are cases in which the wife explicitly asks her husband to kill her, and “suicide pacts” between the husband and wife are uncommon.

In the second group, the husband’s principal goal is his own suicide, and his decision to take his wife with him into death is a secondary matter. Substance abuse, physical and mental illness, social isolation, and financial issues may complicate these cases. The final group includes elderly husbands who ultimately kill as a culmination of a long-standing pattern of intimate partner violence.

Elderly partner homicides have consistent patterns. Firearms are the most common method used in the killings. A history of domestic violence, physical illness in either partner, and the potential for moving to a nursing home or other facility are frequent factors. As described above, elderly intimate partner homicide is rarely a purely altruistic act of love. These murders often stem from burnout and depression and reflect a failure to seek necessary help. Finally, they tend to occur in families in which the husband, who may be dominant or controlling, has a paternalistic view of his role as family decision maker.

These patterns outlined suggest that psychiatrists and primary care physicians who treat elderly patients may be well situated to help prevent some of these deaths. For instance, physicians should keep in mind that considerable stigma surrounds both depression and domestic violence in elderly individuals, and patients should be screened accordingly. Inquiry regarding firearm ownership may also prove important. This is particularly vital when encountering husbands who have been thrust unprepared and unwittingly into caring for wives with dementia and patients who face transitioning out of their homes into more structured environments.

To ensure safety for elderly couples at risk, increasing social supports while decreasing both isolation and caregiver burnout is crucial.  ■