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Published Online: 1 August 2018

Keeping One Awake at Night

Jennifer Hu, M.D.Authors Info & Affiliations
Publication: American Journal of Psychiatry Residents' Journal
Volume 13, Number 8
https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp-rj.2018.130806
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I.

You are the small body delivered
by so many hands. You have
pain here, and there, and there.
You are coughing blood. You say
the voices will not leave.

II.

There are no flowers on your table
or visitors by your bed. Rather,
I am here with naive ears and
such fragile ability. How can I trust
you will understand the desperation
behind our crudeness? Outside,
the streets are turning white as
the skin of your knuckles. You're
right, I do not know what it means
to carry your kind of loneliness or,
I assume, your kind of forgiveness.

III.

I heard you passed away last week.
I wonder if those voices accompanied
you even in death. I question where
I could have been while you
lay there, if I should have been there.
I suspect you would not have cared
or wanted or recognized me,
but it weighs on me, heavy as a story
I must tell over and over. If I may,
allow me to write you, again.

IV.

Here is your hair, washed and combed.
Here your breath without malignancy.
And here, finally, your eyes,
so blue and steady and unafraid,
opening to me in these empty hours.

Information & Authors

Information

Published In

Go to American Journal of Psychiatry Residents' Journal
American Journal of Psychiatry Residents' Journal
Volume 13 • Number 8 • August 01, 2018
Pages: 10

History

Published online: 1 August 2018
Published in print: August 01, 2018

Authors

Details

Jennifer Hu, M.D.
Dr. Hu is a first-year resident at Cambridge Health Alliance, Cambridge, Mass.
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