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Published Online: 6 December 2024

Full Circle: Resident Research in College Mental Health


Jeena Kar, D.O.
Authors Info & Affiliations
Publication: American Journal of Psychiatry Residents' Journal
Volume 20, Number 2
https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp-rj.2024.200210
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Full Circle


The students in the circle

look up to me—

mentor, college graduate,

doctor, resident, success story—

the one with the answers.

I take the therapist stance,

but i have no answers.

their words echo my life.

I enter their names into Excel spreadsheets,

condensing life stories into checkboxes,

thinking how I, too, have been tucked

into boxes.

We share a similar burden,

Do they know this?

The weight of parental hopes and expectations,

and of being an investment that must yield

a bountiful return for the many well wishers

in my life.
The pressure from within myself:

the inner self that seeks a home—

not fully American, yet not truly Indian—

not belonging in both places I call home.

Always a square peg in round holes.

The self that flinches every time.

They ask, “Where are you from?”

Playing dumb, naming my hometown,

rather than my heritage.

The self that refuses

to be placed in predetermined categories

based on a passing glance.

The face of diversity, the exotic,

the invisible, the model minority,

the job-stealing threat.

The self within for whom I bear this burden

trudging on, defying odds.

I sit in the circle with these students

not as mentor, but a peer,

a witness. In a moment of clarity,

everything comes full circle.

The self, seeking a home,

for which I seek success

is all of these things: my selfless parents,

the Motherland—my root and foundation,

my Homeland—the soil holding space for me to blossom.

The many identities I hold—physician, researcher, educator,

mentee—walking through doors held open by women before me,

mentor—holding the door open for these young ones,

change agent—tearing down systems of oppression.

In that circle of diverse, developing minds,
my Self finally found home.

In this poem, the author reflects on her experience with a diversity, equity, and research elective during residency. She participated in NIH grant–funded research that seeks to increase access of underrepresented and minoritized undergraduate students to careers in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) and biomedical fields. She facilitated weekly process groups with college students to explore themes such as coming of age, challenges and obstacles in STEM, model minorities, microaggressions, intersectionality, and more. She served as mentor and as group leader for these sessions.

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Information

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Go to American Journal of Psychiatry Residents' Journal
American Journal of Psychiatry Residents' Journal
Volume 20 • Number 2 • December 6, 2024
Pages: 26

History

Published online: 6 December 2024
Published in print: December 6, 2024

Authors

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Jeena Kar, D.O.

Dr. Kar is a fifth-year resident in child and adolescent psychiatry at UF Health Shands Hospital, University of Florida, Gainesville.
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