Chapter 6. Impact of Divorce on Parenting

Volunteer in community organizations, such as your local hospital, library, and political parties. Becoming active in your children’s parent-teacher association is also a good idea. Not only can you meet other parents—married or not—who may be able to help you in school-related emergencies, but you will also get to know the school administrators and teachers. Your involvement will show them that you take your children’s education very seriously.

Join the local chapter of an organization for divorced people, such as Parents Without Partners. (See Chapter 15 for more information.)

Join the local chapter of your professional association.

Take adult education courses sponsored by your community college or local school system (the school system courses are often quite a bargain). Don’t limit yourself to academic or enrichment topics—many schools offer a broad range, from gardening to fixing cars. By taking courses on parent effectiveness and classes for divorced parents, you can meet other parents with similar concerns while sharpening your parenting skills.

If you’ve ever thought about finishing your college degree or switching careers to improve your earning capacity, this may be an opportune time to do it. Although it may make life more difficult in the short term, you and your family will benefit from your working in a field that makes you happier and offers greater income. Check with your employer to see whether tuition assistance or reimbursement is available. If you are still going through the divorce process and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse makes significantly more money than you do, know that some states allow you to ask for rehabilitative maintenance for a specified number of years. In this type of alimony, your spouse can be ordered to pay for some or all of your college education. It’s well worth looking into, especially if you were a stay-at-home parent while your spouse went to college and worked and you’d like the education necessary to get a job that will fulfill you and create a better life for your children.

Get involved in activities sponsored by your church or synagogue. Some of the activities are entirely social in nature, such as groups for single people, or involve a special interest, such as music or visiting sick people.

Take stock of your special abilities or areas you have been interested in but have never taken the time or opportunity to pursue, such as gourmet cooking, yoga classes, or mastering a musical instrument. There are probably groups already formed that you might be able to join. For example, if you have a special interest in local history, you might contact your local historical society or organizations that support or run historical sites in your area.

If you have difficulty finding a relevant group and have an institution of higher learning in your area, a phone call to the appropriate academic department may provide the answer.

If any of your friends or relatives have an interest or hobby that fascinates you, let them know of your interest, and they may be able to get you started or introduce you to other people who could be helpful.